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General Forum - Suggestions: - best dead animal to use as a weapon in a no-win situation ? - Page 1
posted by merryprankster2 on Thursday, 8th June 2006, 20:06
Competent
This came out of the dead chihuahua thread and seems to deserve a thread of its own so my entry is:-
The fieldmouse - when confronted by an adult rhino about to charge hold the said mouse at arms length and as the rhino advances stick the riga-rodent to its snout with some blu-tac. The rhino will be so confused that it will lose interest in you and will concentrate on removing the rodent - simple really and a useful tip for those going on safari this summer or just visiting a friend with such a pet!!
This item was edited on Friday, 9th June 2006, 18:46
posted by Rassilon on Thursday, 8th June 2006, 20:37
Elite
What no poll?
I consider myself an optimist, albeit an optimist with cynical tendencies and a dark side that Lucifer himself would find a little creepy. (Perhaps you’ve noticed.) You don’t normally associate cynicism with an upbeat pov. But I have exactly that combination and will defend it.
posted by merryprankster2 on Friday, 9th June 2006, 18:48
Competent
Can't use a pole as a weapon as it's not an animal - it's a pole !
posted by sparkster on Friday, 9th June 2006, 20:07
Elite
Depends upon the situation really. If I was ontop of a house and some madman was coming up to get me, an elephant would be great to chuck down on him.
In a one on one situation a swordfish
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posted by girders on Friday, 9th June 2006, 21:43
Competent
Got to be a stinging jellyfish on a stick!
posted by "V" on Friday, 9th June 2006, 22:25
Elite
Taun-Taun - use the force!
Live a life you love, use a god you trust, and don't take it all too seriously
posted by Choagy on Friday, 9th June 2006, 23:08
Elite
Quote:
Can't use a pole as a weapon as it's not an animal - it's a pole !
I beg to differ my dear friend 
Take one dead five foot snake
Insert a baseball bat in either of the snakes orifices 
Push the bat deep in to the chosen orifice
Hey presto, one snake skinned club
Choagy FFCUK The SPL Neil Scally Is A God
posted by Mark Oates on Saturday, 10th June 2006, 00:11
Reviewer
If you're talking no-win, absolute act of futility use of dead animal as a weapon, I'd say a hamster used as a simple projectile. Bounce it off your opponent's forehead to show him you're not just going to stand there and let him marmelise you.
Of course, there's always the chance he might have his mouth wide open laughing at you and you might just post the hamster down his throat, precipitating his demise by choking.
J Mark Oates
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(Sig taking a holiday out of respect)
posted by merryprankster2 on Saturday, 10th June 2006, 10:50
Competent
Quote:
Can't use a pole as a weapon as it's not an animal - it's a pole !
Quote:
I beg to differ my dear friend
But your answer is:-
Quote:
Hey presto, one snake skinned club
But a club is a club - it's not a pole - therefore the pole quote still stands !
posted by fluff_n_stuff on Saturday, 10th June 2006, 21:27
Elite Donator
A Tortoise, coz its hard and pointy and would hit people well if you throw it..or, you could leave the shell on the floor it could trip people up and stuff!
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